A month ago, I came home to Australia fully expecting to feel wrung out emotionally. I was sent off from America in a flood of waterworks at the airport; my mother and I never expected it to be easy to part after having spent more time together than we had since I graduated from college, but I also don’t think I was prepared for how hard it would be to say goodbye.
I wasn’t just saying goodbye to my mom. I was saying bye to America, to England, to all the amazing places in between, and most importantly, to the rest of my family.
Before this year, I knew that family was one of my top priorities, despite (or perhaps a little bit because of) the fact that I live so far away. This year showed me why keeping my family as a top priority was absolutely the right choice. I picked up and left the life I’ve carved for myself here in Australia to spend some quality time with them…and it made my life that much richer. I now know so many more little stories about events that helped to make my grandparents who they are today, and being able to sit in their living room and listen to them tell those stories was an experience every bit as memorable as riding a dogsled through the winter wilds of Lapland.
I knew that while I was in America, the reality that I was nearly finished traveling wouldn’t sink in. After all, I was still with family. I was able to watch my cousin get married to a beautiful woman who I know will make him incredibly happy and I was able to give him a hug afterwards and tell him how proud I was of him. I was able to travel with my family, making the most of those fleeting moments of togetherness by planning the best trip possible for them. I was able to visit my brother and see his new home (and really, how could that not be awesome since he has a Tetris arcade game in his study!).
So, six months to the day from when I left Australia, I landed on home soil with mixed emotions. I couldn’t have been more excited to see James, who understood why I had to leave and had weathered the six months of Skype calls (plus moving house!) without me. Yet I was concerned that post-trip depression was going to sneak up on me and keep me from enjoying seeing him and all of my other friends.
Those worries were misplaced though, because it’s been a month with no sign of depression in sight. There have been times when I’ve talked to family and thought about how nice it would be to see them face-to-face once again, but overall, I’ve felt content and happy to be back home.
Unlike nearly every other trip I’ve taken, I haven’t dwelled on the things I missed out on or what could have made the trip better. I know there were some places I could have gone — my cancelled trip to Scotland comes to mind immediately — but the alternative was spending a few more precious days with my grandparents so I can’t regret it.
I didn’t leave to travel the world (a fact well hidden by the fact that I ended up doing a RTW trip). Travel was a happy byproduct of the fact that my family lives on the other side of the world from me.
I didn’t leave to find what I was missing in my life or to do some serious soul-searching. While there was plenty of soul-searching involved and a few critical choices made (including not returning to my old job when I got home and some blog- and photography-related projects I’ve now started on), I didn’t feel like I had to beat myself up about what’s next in my life. I was truly able to live in the moment (at least, most of the time).
I did leave to take advantage of the time I had and the money I’d saved to do something that was crucially important to me — to take a chance that, if I had ignored it, I would have regretted for the rest of my life. To me, that’s the true reason that I’ve been able to happily slip back into my “normal” life. I know that I did everything I could in the time that was given to me. I can look back on it and say “that was absolutely worth it.”
What’s important to you may be family, it may be traveling the world, it may be to find what’s missing in your life. You may not be able to pursue it immediately, but don’t discount it as impossible. When I first started planning this trip, it seemed impossible; I was almost surprised when it did happen. Believe me, you can surprise yourself too.
So what do you want to pursue more of in your life?